OMFG It's Ragnarok's story time yay
by ThanotosOmega
Summary: Ragnarok tell's classic story's as only he can WARNING cursing violance and sugestve theme's  It's Rated M For a VERY good reason
1. Chapter 1

**Uh-oh Ragnorok got cought doing some rather nasty name calling and was convicted of public indecincey**

**but because they can't do much to him with out hurting Crona who is comepletely inocent **

**the juge gave him comunity service and some how that service became reading to KID'S ! at the local Library**

**and now let the chaos unfold **

**WARNING: the following is the complete and utter ruining of beloved classic's and has a GREAT deal of swearing and violance you have been warned**

**1st time Little Red Riding Hood**

The fierce demon sword looked over his audiance of kindergartener's and cleared his throat

Ahem once their was a girl who lived on the edge of the forest because her parent's where tottal prick's who didn't give a rat's ass if their kid was all fucking lonely cuz you know parent's are complete douch-bag's when it come's to that kind of thing

oh and she had HUGE fucking tit's ! and since her parent's were to dumb to tell not to she would run around in white shirt's

with a black bra and it was super fucking hot ! cuz you could see her tit's right through her shirt

Aell one day her mom said to take some food to her granma cuz she was sick and to fucking stupid

to not live in the middle of a god-damn forest and her famaly were to big a pussy's to tell her to fucking move

so they got the great idea to send a fucking kid ! into the wood's this was mostly cuz they where horny and whanted her out so they could fuck in her bed so they wouldn't have to argue over who had to sleep in the cum stain just like you parent's are right now

And so being to much of a ditz to call child servecis she when't to take the food to her grandma

as she was walking in the wood's a big bad wolf saw her and was like whoa i would love to screw her brain's out

cuz she had realy HUGE tit's so he decided to go rape her and he walked up and was like hey sexy bitch and Red was like holly FUCKIN SHIT ! a talking wolf so she grabed a big ASS STICK ! and she whent all APE SHIT ! on him and she didn't stop until his fucking dome was so crushed it looked like road kill

And she had had e-fucking-nuf she ran to her brain dead granma's house and was all like ok you senial old cunt pack your fucking shit ! your stupid old wrinkly ass is going to a home !

**The End**


	2. Chapter 2

**Uh-oh Ragnorok got cought doing some rather nasty name calling and was convicted of public indecincey**

**but because they can't do much to him with out hurting Crona who is comepletely inocent **

**the juge gave him comunity service and some how that service became reading to KID'S ! at the local Library**

**and now let the chaos unfold **

**WARNING: the following is the complete and utter ruining of beloved classic's and has a GREAT deal of swearing and violance you have been warned**

**Second Story Hansel & Gretel**

It had been a week already and it was time for the Black Dragon to once agin terorri... i mean warm the heart's of the groupe of young childeren with his story telling skill's

"Ok you shit head's Uncule Ragnarok's got another great story for ya"

"A long time ago their was a couple of dick weed kid's just like you only older and they din't eat FUCKING paste yeah i see you back their you know if ya do that it will block up your ass hole and youll eventualy explode cuz the shit can't get out"

And the young boy sudenly had lost all intrest in his sticky snack

"And there step mom was a comeplete BITCH. Who didn't like them cuz ummm she was a bitch?. Or something. any way so she tricked there dumb as fuck dad into leaving them in the wood's to die cuz yeah once agin these kid's where to fucking stupid to call famely service's so instead they decided leave a trail of bread crumb's to follow home cuz it's such a good sighn that yer fucking parent's are trying to get you killed so who wouldn't wan't to come back ?"

"Any way as they walked into the wood's hansel droped the bread crumb's as part of the oh so briliant come back to pepole who are trying to kill us plan OK seriusly who wrote this shit"

Ragnarok read the rest of the book to himself and promtly tossed it away

"Ok long story short if your dad is willing to dump ya in the wood's FUCK'em call the GODAMN COPS the end"

"That's not how the story goes"

"So this way is better"

"Ragnarok !"

"Ahhhh finnee if it will keep ya from crying"

"So ok the Dad ditched them in the woods and as it turns out animals eat bread who knew ? aparently not these two geniuses so they got lost and shit and late that night the kids found a ginger bread house and whent up to the door and knocked and when the houses owner ansewred She didn't see any one so she steped out to see what the fuck was going on and then hansel jumped off the roof and drove her to the ground and then gretel stomped hole in the bitchs dome and..."

"Your spending to much time with Patty"

"I am not"

"Right well i think you have suficently scared the children for to day"

"What the fuck are you talking about?. I was just getting to the part where they do a drive by on there Dad and step Mom"

"Yeah we'r done here"

**Ok so i finally got around to doing this YAY if anyone has a story they would like done let me know**


	3. Chapter 3

**Third Story: Humty Dumty**

Crona looked over the gathering of children and noticed a few kids he didn't remember from last week.

"All right shit stains let's get started"

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...annnd TURNED INTO A HUGE FUCKING DRAGON!."

"And then he flew off going Fuck yeah bitches i'm bein a dragon and no one can stop me!."

"And then he saw Fuzzy Wuzzy and he was all hey Fuzzy Wuzzy and Fuzzy said what are you up to and Humpty dumpty was like i'm gonna eat a bitch NOM!."

And he ate Fuzzy and with this the children cheered and applauded.

"And then he flew off and ran into Toothless and he was like hey bitch your are version of twilight!."

"So a well rounded main character who's very powerful but lovably flawed?." Crona cut in.

"No i'm talking about the other annoying ass series that no one ever shuts up about."

"The books?. You do know patty likes those right?."

"Really hey we need to get those we'll grab them on the way home."

"Why do we need them?."

"CUZ I FUCKING SAY SO AND THAT"S ALL THE REASON YOU NEED TO JUMP TO YOUR FUCKING DEATH LET ALONE GET SOME FUCKING BOOKS!."

"And any how back to the story so Humty Dumpty beat the hell out of toothless and was like now then i don't wana see your pussy ass until you eat that sneeze prick you hang out with got that!?".

"And Dickless was all like sure and so Dumtpy Dumpty flew off and kicked Godzilla into the sun and devoured all the world the end."

"And then the children began to cheer wildly Crona began to wonder if they were perhaps deaf and Ragnarok's random flayling around while he was talking happened to be sign language for the real storys."

With that they heard a bell ring signling the end of story time for the week

**Note Ragnarok is referring to hiccup when he says Sneeze  
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End file.
